While booking my hotel for tomorrow night, I found myself a little skeptical of the "Best Price Guarantee" for the fifth room on the list.
If $9,999.89 is the best Cheap Tickets can get me for a room, then I don't think they're trying that hard. (Perhaps it's regularly $9,999.99 without the discount.)
And hey! For that price, you get a king-size bed Presidential Parlor room, without the bed! Maybe that extra 10-cent savings was made up on the cost of not having to clean the bedsheets. Or the pillows. Or the mattress.
There're no cucumbers. The refrigerator only refrigerates plasma televisions, which the guest is presumed to bring with him-or-her. Over-clocked televisions allow one to get next year's television to-day. Unfortunately, the quality of next year's television continues established trends. It would probably be better to bring a cucumber, and watch that, though, again, there'll be not refrigerator in which to store it.